Are you living your life by rules you didn’t create?
It will wear you out.
One of the reasons why we might have trouble making good decisions is because of a less than favourable childhood.
If you were abused or neglected as a child – IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. If you continue living your life through the lens of pain, it will taint everything.
When you forgive yourself for whatever you’ve done in your past, or had done to you… you can work on forgiving others.
You don’t have to feel great love for the person who abused you, or even speak to them again. But… you do need to come to terms with what happened to you. If you don’t, the tendrils of neglect and despair will never release you.
You can choose your feelings. The rough, raw, ugly feelings will rise up every so often, but as an adult, you can recognise them and release them.
Admit that the person you are now was moulded by the experiences of your past. As an adult, you are now responsible for putting together the jigsaw of your personality. You can choose how much you let past experiences affect you.
You are no longer insignificant and abandoned. You are a mighty force to be reckoned with.
But you have a fearful, scared, unsafe child trapped inside. Comfort that child. It was not that child’s fault. Remind that child that as the adult, you will protect them now and that they can rely on you.
If you need help to recover and accept what has happened to you – seek it.
And then … release…
It will improve your trading… but most importantly… it will improve your life.
You will fight a thousand small wars on your way to earning your freedom – and it will be worth it.
You will battle the small-minded… the belittlers… and the nay-sayers – and it will be worth it.
You will learn to reach for your own super-hero cape, and not expect someone else to rescue you – and it will be worth it.
Sometimes recovery from an adverse event requires a more process driven mindset. Rather than concentrating on feelings, think about the specific action you can take as your next step.
One concrete thing you can do now is to check your trading plan to see if it is specific enough.
I am troubled by the imprecise. The fuzzy. The ‘open to interpretation’.
Imprecision is dangerous. Imprecision is costly.
And, it is unnecessary.
We can be precise, if we have to.
I beg of you… insist on precision.
Banish the ‘kind of’, ‘sort of’, ‘could be’ from the vocabulary of your trading plan.
Replace these words with the crisp, unambiguous sharpness of precision.
Do this, and you will reap the rewards.
A Little Homework for You
I thought it would be fun to give you a little ‘try this at home’ exercise. It is something small and easy, but also something that will have maximum impact on your trading results.
So, my challenge to you is to pick one of the exercises below, and implement it today:
- Read through your trading plan and see whether it still fits in with your overall objectives.
- Say ‘Thanks’ to your spouse for giving you the space to learn about the markets.
- Be grateful for your trader’s life. Feel it deeply.
- Give yourself a little treat next time you follow your trading plan to the letter, even if it results in a loss trade.
It’s often the micro-habits that we forget about in times of pressure. However, it’s those very micro-habits that carry the seeds of self-discovery and profit.
Which one will you choose?
I’d love to hear your results if you do try one of these. You can email me at: louise@tradinggame.com.au. I always love hearing from my gorgeous traders!
Wherever you came from, I am so glad you’re here. I know you have many other places to be, so thank you. Thank you for trusting me with your time, your focus and your education.
You won’t be disappointed.
But expect a bit of judgement along the way from those who don’t know any better, or even from those trying to rip you down.
You may still cop abuse
There are some bizarre ways to torture someone. Just because we’re adults and more ‘sophisticated’, don’t think that the abuse will stop. All you can do is be determined to keep moving forward and keep on loving yourself. Even if you didn’t get the love you craved as a child, be determined to fill that void in your life now.
Here are some of the things I’ve been told over the years:
“Do you really think you can be a full-time trader? I don’t think it’s something any woman has done before.”
But, I continued to love myself anyway.
“You realise you’re making a fool of yourself by writing a book?”
But, I continued to love myself anyway.
“Your husband will start to feel inadequate if you earn more money than he does”
But, I continued to love myself anyway.
“You won’t have enough money to live on in old age”
But, I continued to love myself anyway.
I find it curious that people want to steal someone else’s dreams and hopes for the future.
I’ve never understood it, and I’m unlikely to begin.
I continue to love myself anyway. That’s my act of rebellion in the face of a world that tells me that the way I earn money, and the lifestyle I’ve chosen isn’t ‘good enough’.
And… I will fight anyone who tries to take away this right – for me… but also for you.
Probably even more for you.
When I’m defending your right to be a trader, my voice comes out stronger, and less hesitant. I let you borrow my strength, and we stand together, shoulder to shoulder. Not leaning on each other, but supporting each other.
Go forth this month and trade.
Trade as if your honour depended on it.
Louise Bedford (www.tradinggame.com.au) is a full-time private trader and author of several best-selling books including –The Secret of Candlestick Charting, Charting Secrets and Trading Secrets. To pick up her free trading plan template, register on her website and she’ll send it to you straight away.
Do you know that Louise also has her own free weekly ‘Talking Trading’ podcast? Visit www.talkingtrading.com.au and revel in this free training to fuel your profits, squash your fears and drive you towards exceptional trading habits.
