I was sent an email this month. Here is a direct quote: “It’s nice that you’re trying to show women how it’s done, but it’s clear you’ve been riding on Chris Tate’s coat-tails for years. He’s the brains behind the operation.”
(For those of you who don’t know Chris Tate, he’s been my business partner since the late 90s. He’s a big, bald, ex-broker, ex-bouncer who looks freakily intimidating. Behind the scenes, he is a focussed, disciplined trading
genius.) Keep in mind, this email is from a person I’ve never met, has never
seen me present and is in no way privy to my trading results. Hmmm… Strangely, in this day of equality – I find that people still under-
estimate me – perhaps because I’m a woman. Actually – the more I think about it, it’s downright bizarre! After reading the email, initially I felt my blood boil. Then I was
reminded of Donald Trump’s advice – “it’s often to your advantage to be under-estimated”. Comforting to know. Ronald Reagan was of the same opinion.
I’ve given up trying to prove myself to people I don’t care about. It no longer interests me. Free from this burden, I find myself more productive than ever, achieving the goals that I really care about. One of those goals is to help members of my Trading Game Mentor Program achieve what is truly important to them. This brings me shivery goose-bumps of pleasure. It is the reason behind my passion in helping people over-come their perceived barriers.
The markets don’t care about your background, your gender or your age. It’s one of the only platforms in the world that offers you a limitless stage to refine your art. No judgement will come your way. No criticism because you’re gay or gray. It’s a true level playing field.
I refuse to be judged because of a characteristic that I cannot change.
I’m a big fan of striving to be better. Change the things that you can change. The things you can’t – learn to live with, or ignore. It works for me.
Get your mindset in the right place and the magnetic pleasures of success are yours for the taking. Let them under-estimate you. Let them be shocked when you whip their butt! It feels good to know that you have what it takes to be a fantastic trader. Most people quit way too soon and take the critical words of others to heart (see the report card statements about Roald Dahl in ‘Don’t Quit Too Soon’).
Become determined to be described as ‘intelligently ignorant’. Being intelligently ignorant is where you’re too dumb to know something can’t be done, but still proceed to do (much to the shock, irritation and disbelief of ‘smarter’ people around you who may or may not include your brother-in-law).
The Ugly Truth
There’s an ugly truth about being a trader. Once you gain some serious control over your life, your time and your money, not everyone will be your fan. I guarantee that by the time you start to show some of the outward signs of success, you will attract people who will think it’s luck, that you don’t deserve it, and that want to take away some of your prosperity to even out the score.
If you haven’t experienced this to your face yet, I hate to break it to you… but they’re whispering behind your back as soon as you leave the room. You will be labelled. Picked on. Disliked.
However, if you surrender at all, you’ll gain nothing and instead feel pressurised to surrender more.
I urge you to ignore whatever criticism you’re up against. Don’t woo those who can’t be wooed. Stand strong and those zombies will eventually lurch off in search of another more pliable victim. Their cesspool of mediocrity won’t stink any less if you join them in there.
Remember what you’re fighting for. You’re fighting for freedom. Freedom from the shackles of employment. Freedom for your family. Freedom to make your own choices.
Hold those goals up, close to your eyes so that they shine like gold sparkling in the sun. Only then will you have the focus to drown out the naysayers who want to even the playing field by bringing you down to their level.
People give in too easily. They crumble, when they should push. They side-step when they should left-hook.
Think back to when you were a kid and you really, REALLY wanted that ice cream. Did you take your parent’s word as gospel? Or did you ask, whinge, nag, beg, grovel, whine, and stomp your foot and tantrum your way to success?
When I finished school, I was sure I was going to get into the university course I wanted. I just missed out. I was crushed. Then I got mad. Then I got moving.
I door knocked on every single one of the lecturers’ doors, until I found someone to let me in. They let me into a course that wasn’t the one I wanted, but that had the same subjects, so I could transfer after the first year (if my marks were good enough). Voila! My tantrum worked, and I got my own way.
I got my first job by not taking ‘no’ for an answer. I developed my friendship with Chris Tate by not taking ‘no’ for an answer. (Between you and I, Chris has the makings of a savant recluse and tends to only allow a few people into his inner circle).
I bought my first car at a great price by not taking ‘no’ for an answer.
Goal-setting is useful, but only if you’re prepared to pursue your goals with a singleness of purpose that busts through other people’s ‘nos’. The key to success is to adamantly refuse to accept limits. Relentlessly apply your focus. Dig in your heels when people tell you it can’t be done.
Make this your ingrained, conditioned, automatic way of responding when someone says ‘no’. Question it. Don’t just accept.
Watch Your Mouth
Unless you change what comes out of your mouth, and what has taken root in your mind, you’ll be stuck exactly where you are now… forever.
Successful traders are ludicrously intolerant of excuses including their own. When I was broke, I used to spout drivel about why it wasn’t my fault. One day I just stopped, cold turkey. Things turned around pretty quickly after that. Co-incidence? I think not.
The same goes for drinking and eating. You can’t keep on making excuses for being a boozer, or being overweight, especially if you want the future to look different from your past.
Making excuses is a malignant force in your life. People will be repelled from you. It’s a sign you’re deluded about your life, and it’s a sad statement of a lack of integrity. If you continue to do so, you’ll rob yourself of the chance to face reality and make the adjustments to your life that will under-pin the very fabric of your future success.
Hold yourself accountable. Stop believing your own drivel. Demand a higher standard from yourself.
The only way to move forward is to stop making excuses and just do it!
Get Rich This Year
Please get rich. I mean really rich. Make this your year to do just that.
Yes, I realise it’s in vogue to think of the rich as being capitalist pigs, worthy of derision – but let’s look at the facts. Unless you personally develop wealth, you’re going to have to rely on the rich (through taxes and charity) to support the mistakes you’ve made in your life. Being rich can give you time, power and the ability to help those who need to be helped. It can give you time to learn a musical instrument, become fluent in a foreign language, write a novel, indulge your family or focus on getting good at a sport – all things that will not only improve the quality of your life, but may also add years to your life.
Make the way you earn your living a servant to you, not the other
way around. Flip your thinking around so you don’t feel like you’re trading gold
for your soul. Find something that will stimulate you and help you thrive intellectually, so that you’ll become an even more interesting person to those around you. And if you’re not getting that kick through your job, or the business you run – then get good at trading.
And.. yes, definitely. Go ahead and get rich.
There is no win to be had with those determined to disapprove. Your mindset, trading methods and wealth are not to be apologised for. Stop arguing with those that are unworthy, preserve your energy, change the subject and magnetically seek out those who will support your aspirations. Rise above. Don’t sink and make less of yourself. You deserve the success you’ve already achieved, and more.
Louise Bedford (www.tradinggame.com.au) is a full-time private trader and author of several best-selling books including –The Secret of Candlestick Charting, Charting Secrets and Trading Secrets. To pick up her free trading plan template, register on her website and she’ll send it to you straight away.